Around the world, rural people are moving to cities and urban areas, so populations in the countryside are decreasing. Is this a positive or negative development?
Band 9 essay sample
Migration of people from villages to towns and cities is a common phenomenon all over the world. One obvious effect of this trend is the drop in rural population. In my opinion, this is not a positive development.
When rural people move to urban areas, it creates problems in both places. It leads to a drop in rural population and also stalls the development of villages. Most people who migrate to cities are actually youngsters. They constitute the most productive segment of the population. When they migrate, it leads to a shortage of both skilled and non-skilled workers in rural areas. This affects the development of those regions. Also, when young people move to metros, their aged parents are usually left behind. These people need care and support during that phase of their life and yet they are forced to live alone. This affects their mental and emotional health. In addition, seniors who live alone are also a burden on the public healthcare system. This migration affects economic activity in the villages. Young people are the drivers of economic growth. When they move out, the demand for products and services in the rural areas will also diminish. Consequently, there will be fewer stores and other service centres in the countryside. This hurts the rural population because they often have to travel to cities for shopping or other needs.
This migration affects the cities too. Due to the influx of rural people, urban areas have become overcrowded. There is already a shortage of affordable housing and other facilities in many big cities. Migrants are often forced to live in shanties as they cannot afford to rent or buy decent accommodation in cities. Many cities do not have adequate infrastructure to cater to the needs of the growing population. Hence, traffic jams are an everyday occurrence. Waste management is another major issue plaguing cities. Over population can also lead to an increase in the crime rate. When poor people are forced to live in squalid conditions, they may become resentful. They might even take to crime.
To conclude, when villagers move to urban areas, it benefits neither their native place nor their destination. This migration makes villages deserted and halts their development. At the same time, it makes cities more crowded and less livable.
Analysis
Task response: 9/9
The writer has addressed all aspects of the task. The writer argues that the migration from villages to cities is a negative development. The essay defends this opinion with valid arguments. The first body paragraph discusses how this migration impacts rural areas. The second body paragraph narrates its impacts on the urban areas. The conclusion restates the main points without introducing any new ideas.
Coherence and cohesion: 9/9
Cohesive elements like discourse markers and transitions are used effectively. The essay is divided into four paragraphs.
Grammatical range: 9/9
There are no grammar mistakes in this essay. The writer has used both complex and compound sentences. Conjunctions and relative pronouns are correctly used to connect clauses.
Lexical resources: 9/9
The range of vocabulary is adequate.
