To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
Band 9 IELTS essay sample
According to some people, sports promote physical and emotional health. I agree with this view to a great extent. Playing a sport is certainly beneficial to us; however, there are some downsides too.
Playing a sport requires us to flex our muscle and get physically active. Physical activity is one of the main factors that promote good health. People these days live highly sedentary lives. Most of us have desk jobs and we do not even move about much. In this scenario, playing a sport is an enjoyable way to add some physical activity into our daily routine. Studies have shown that people who regularly play a sport are less likely to suffer from lifestyle ailments like diabetes, hypertension, heart attack or stroke.
Sports promote mental well-being too. When we play a sport, our body releases feel good hormones that enhance our overall sense of well-being. Sports also help people release their pent-up emotions and thus reduce their stress levels. Better still, it is a safe avenue for people to express their aggression in a controlled manner without causing any real damage to others. In addition, people who play a physical sport tend to have better bodies which make them feel good about themselves.
On the other hand, there are also some risks involved. When people play a physical sport like football, basketball or tennis, they always run the risk of injuring themselves. Some of these injuries can be quite serious and may even debilitate the player for weeks or even months. Rarely, such injuries can prove fatal.
To conclude, sports certainly enhance our overall sense of well-being. People who regularly play a sport tend to have healthier bodies that also look attractive. However, there is a small risk of injuries.
Analysis
Here the writer does not fully agree with the given argument. Hence, a short paragraph about the downsides of playing a sport was also added. If you fully argument with the given point of view, do not mention any harmful consequences of playing.
How to combine two clauses with a relative pronoun
Relative pronouns are words like who, whom, whose, which, and that. They are a bit like conjunctions. They connect two clauses. However, they also act as the subject or object of the verb in the relative clause.
Consider the sentences given below.
- People regularly play a sport. They tend to have healthier bodies.
We can connect these two sentences using the relative pronoun who.
- People who regularly play a sport tend to have healthier bodies.
Here the relative clause who regularly play a sport gives additional information about the noun people. Hence, it goes immediately after people.
Note that we use who to refer to people and which to refer to things. The relative pronoun that can refer to both people and things.
Another example is given below.
- When we play a sport, our body releases feel good hormones. These hormones enhance our overall sense of well-being.
We can connect these two sentences using which or that.
- When we play a sport, our body releases feel good hormones which/that enhance our overall sense of well-being.
Note the verb in the relative clause should agree with its antecedent. This is the noun/pronoun modified by the relative clause. Here, for example, the plural verb enhance agrees with the plural noun hormones.
