Is this a positive or negative development? This question appeared in a recently held IELTS writing exam.
How to go about writing this essay?
In the introduction, rewrite the given question in your own words and express your opinion. Say whether this is a positive or negative development. A development does not have to be fully beneficial or disadvantageous. It can have both positive and negative aspects. So, if you believe that the increased competition to get into university is beneficial in some way and detrimental in another way, you can claim so. Make sure that your body paragraphs support the opinion expressed in the introduction. So, for example, if you believe that this development is positive, do not mention any negative aspects of it in your essay. Likewise, if you believe that there are both positive and negative aspects, mention the positives in one paragraph and negatives in another paragraph. In the conclusion restate the main points.
What not to do?
Do not make any suggestions for improvement or offer solutions when the task rubric asks whether the given development is positive or negative. You are not supposed to solve the problem. You only have to say whether it is positive or negative. Read the question carefully to find out exactly what you are supposed to write. Do not mention any points that are not relevant to the given prompt.
Band 9 essay sample
It is no longer easy to gain admission to a top rated university. In my opinion, there are both positive and negative aspects to this development. The increased competition is a sign that more people now want to gain tertiary education. It is also a reflection of the high caliber of students.
Almost everyone who has completed high school now wants to go to college. However, university programs do not admit all applicants. Despite the increase in the number of students seeking admission, universities have not increased the number of places available to them. Consequently, now only the best and the brightest receive admission. When academically brilliant students receive university education, we can expect them to come up with unique and innovative solutions to our problems. Highly intelligent students make better doctors, engineers, lawyers, writers, administers and teachers. This is beneficial for the society.
On the other hand, when there is too much competition to get into university, some deserving candidates also fail to secure admission. Because of the break neck competition, affluent parents ensure that their children receive the best coaching to crack university entrance exams. Many poor students who are equally intelligent cannot receive this training and fall behind. In India, for example, there is too much competition to gain admission to IITs or medical schools. Many students start preparing for these entrance exams from grade 6 itself. Each year, the entrance tests become more and more difficult and it is impossible for someone who has not received intense coaching to succeed in these tests. Consequently, there is a drop in the number of poor and rural children getting into prestigious institutions. When rich students fail to secure admission to a reputed institute, they have the option to join a private institution by paying a capitation fee. Poor students cannot do this. As a result, they are often denied the opportunity to study a course of their choice.
In short, the cut-throat competition to get into university programs has both positive and negative effects on the students and the society. It ensures that only the brightest will receive admission. At the same time, it prevents many poor students who cannot afford entrance coaching from getting admission despite being brilliant.
Transitional adverbs used in this essay
Also, however, consequently, as a result
Grammar lesson
Study the sentences given below.
- Despite the increase in the number of students seeking admission, universities have not increased the number of places available to them.
- It prevents many poor students from getting admission despite being brilliant.
Despite and in spite of are prepositions. They are interchangeable. Note that there is no of after despite. Either write despite or in spite of.
As a preposition, despite/in spite of is followed by a noun, pronoun, noun phrase or ing form. It cannot be followed by a clause.
- He passed the test despite having a bad teacher.
- She danced well despite suffering an ankle injury the previous day.
- In spite of his health problems, he goes to work regularly.
- I enjoyed the party in spite of having a bad headache.
It is possible to express the same idea using though, although or however.
- He passed the test although he had a bad teacher.
- She danced well though she had suffered an ankle injury the previous day.
- Although he has some health problems, he goes to work regularly.
- He had a bad teacher; however, he passed the test.
- She suffered an ankle injury the previous day; however, she danced well.
- He has some health problems; however, he goes to work regularly.
